Leadership Lessons from Family Movie Night: The Importance of Trust and Empowerment

Friday movie nights are a staple in our household. We kick back with some takeout—usually wings, pizza, or tacos—and enjoy a movie with our two daughters. Most of the time, we revisit Disney classics my wife and I grew up with, like The Lion King or The Little Mermaid. But there’s one particular movie night that left a lasting impression on me, something I like to call my “stand-off” experience—a night that ended up teaching me a major lesson in leadership.

The Stand-Off

It was one of those typical Friday nights. We were all absorbed in the film, enjoying our takeout, when I caught sight of some movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see my 1.5-year-old daughter, Jubilee, holding the TV remote with a grin that spelled trouble. Without making any sudden moves, I signaled to my wife, who glanced over and immediately understood. We both stared at Jubilee, who was clearly aware of the power she held—one press, and our peaceful movie night could turn chaotic. It was a standoff.

We knew we had to act, but carefully. My wife reached for Jubilee’s favorite stuffed animal, “Giraffey,” hoping it might be enough to get her to let go of the remote. Sure enough, Jubilee extended her hand to grab Giraffey, and in that moment, I seized the opportunity to grab the remote from her other hand. Crisis averted—or so we thought. Jubilee quickly figured out what happened and began to vocalize her displeasure, reigniting the situation.

Turning the Tables

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Giving in meant she’d change the channel or turn off the TV, ruining the night for everyone. But holding firm meant enduring a lot of loud crying—enough to drown out the movie entirely. Then I had an idea. I handed the remote back to Jubilee, much to my wife's surprise. She shot me a look that said, "Are you serious?" But I had a plan.

Jubilee took the remote with excitement and started pressing buttons—but nothing happened. The movie kept playing uninterrupted. My wife glanced over at me, and I couldn't help but grin. I had taken the batteries out before giving it back to her.

Jubilee got what she wanted: the remote. But without the batteries, she couldn’t affect the TV. It was a clever compromise that allowed us to get back to our movie without a meltdown—though, admittedly, there were a few vocal protests at first.

The Leadership Takeaway

Reflecting on this experience, I realized just how much this moment mirrors leadership situations. Giving someone a title or role without giving them the authority to make real decisions is like handing them a remote without batteries. It’s all for show—no real power, no real impact.

In leadership, trust is key. If we hold back that trust, our team members will feel disempowered, and eventually, disengagement is inevitable. Examples of “removing the batteries” are all too common: taking credit for a team member’s work, stepping in and managing their relationships without transparency, limiting their ability to make key decisions, or micromanaging their every move. All of these undermine their growth and potential.

To lead effectively, we need to give our team both the remote and the batteries—to provide not just the title, but the tools and authority to get the job done. This means empowering them to take ownership, make mistakes, and learn. It’s about having the confidence to trust them, even when we might not be fully ready to let go of control.

Sometimes, as leaders, we may be reluctant to give someone a bigger role or more responsibility, even if they’re ready for it. Our hesitation doesn’t mean they’re not capable—it just means we need to trust more. Trust is the bedrock of effective leadership, and without it, we hold our teams back. By empowering them, we give them the chance to step up, to thrive, and to grow. And ultimately, it allows us to focus on leading—rather than constantly looking over their shoulders.

Give It Some Thought

• Have you ever given someone a responsibility but held back on giving them the full authority they needed? How did that affect their performance and attitude?

• Are there areas in your leadership where you might be limiting your team’s power, like handing them the remote without batteries? How can you step up and let them take real control?

• How does the amount of trust you put in your team affect their engagement and your ability to lead effectively? Where do you find it hardest to let go?

• Think back to a time when you hesitated to give someone full responsibility. What do you think would have happened if you had trusted them fully from the start?

• What actions can you take to make sure you're not just giving titles, but also the tools and authority that let your team truly own their roles and succeed?